How to Deal With a Twilight Fan
A comprehensible guide to incomprehensible fans.
Many people against Twilight share the same reasons for disliking it. Its stereotypical, poorly written, and lacks any plot and originality. It has brainwashed millions of teenage girls and their parents and painted a false portrait of love. Men close to these twitards are held to higher standards of perfection. Young girls are setting themselves up for complete disappointment when they discover that no, boys are not made of gorgeous marble.
Many twitards respond with YOU SUCK OMG HOW COULD YOU NOT LOVE THEM THEYRE SO HAWT. Some will give you a good verbal joust. Some will be relentless in their support and refuse to accept reason.
Here are some ways of dealing with rabid fans, that make them look very stupid, and make you look very, very smart.
1. Know that there is no reasoning with her
When voicing your anti-Twilight opinion, give her the reasons stated in the introduction. Most will sputter and have no intelligent comment.
2. A mature one that can actually carry on an intelligent conversation will be harder to fight.
You will most likely be talked in circles, with her restating what she said earlier and you trying to make her see sense. She will not see sense. But resist the urge to ban her from any of your internet profiles/pages, as that would be a sign of giving in to her avid defence of the tripe.
3. Never let her have the last word
End the conversation in a biting but witty way. If it is online, simply do not respond. If you are talking face-to-face, walk away. Where walking away is not possible, just stop talking.
4. When told you have no right to go and bash the author politely remind her of your First Amendment right to free speech
5. Ignore when possible
If the offending twitard has no good counter argument, do not indulge her by speaking.
6. Beware their numbers
If you are going to denounce Meyer to a crowd of them, be very confident in your combat skills.
7. Be prepared for death glares
These are most entertaining, and should be laughed at. This will in turn further piss of the twitard, which results in a raised blood pressure and greater risk of aneurism.
8. Advocate better vampire novels
Or just better novels. But better vampire novels make for a stronger case against Ms. Meyer.
9. Be ready with examples of stolen material
It helps to have read the books from which plot, characters, scenarios, etc, were stolen, but just knowing where everything was stolen from is good enough. (Interview With The Vampire, the Sookie Stackhoue novels, any vampire novel/comic/graphic novel ever written)
10. Openly declare war against the Twilight series
They usually stop bugging you after that.